Lily's Little Problem
by A Scarlet Rebel
Summary: Lily's got a problem that won't leave her alone, and his name is Potter. James Potter, the arrogant little fart himself. And she's had enough, and wants him to blow off of the face of the planet. But James isn't giving up so easily...
1. Never giving up

Lily's little problem

Chapter 1:

Never giving up

Lily was sitting in History of Magic, taking notes, concentrating hard on Professor Binns's lecture, when she felt something hit the back of her head.

She whipped around to face James Potter, the arrogant little fart himself.

He sat there with a triumphant smirk on his ruddy face. Acids bubbled in Lily's stomach. She wished nothing more than for him to incinerate on the spot.

"Hey Evans," he said.

Lily narrowed her eyes. "What do you want, _Potter?"_

He traced his fingers over his desk and looked at her with big, innocent eyes. "What do you mean? One can't say 'hi' to a person without there being a selfish motive behind it?"

She scoffed. "Oh please. With you, it usually just means you're setting me up for something. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go back to actually _paying attention_ in class."

Lily turned back around, only to be hit on the head again.

She turned around, her eyes full of rage. "_Potter,_ if you don't stop, I will hex you into obviation."

James gave her an amused look and leaned back in his chair. "Would you, Evans? Would you _really?"_

Lily looked outraged. "Of course I would! Now, be quiet. You're going to get me in trouble."

She turned back around, catching up on her notes.

_Potter,_ she thought. He was the most annoying little wart Lily had ever met. He made fun of innocent students. He was constantly messing up his hair. He was a jerk. Lily couldn't stand him. And he was _her_ little problem. She wished he could just evaporate.

She tried to concentrate on the lesson, but that was hard to do with James chuckling behind her, throwing paper balls at the back of her head, saying "Oi, Evans." Lily refused to give him the satisfaction of getting her annoyed.

She spent the entire lesson grinding her teeth and holding her quill so tightly, she wouldn't have been surprised if it popped.

When she left the History of Magic classroom, she was stopped by the second wart in command, James's best friend, Sirius Black.

"What do you want, Black?" She tried to sidestep passed him, but Sirius blocked her.

"I was just going to ask if you'd—"

"NO. I said NO yesterday, and what makes you think that I find paper balls being thrown at the back of my head makes him anymore attractive than he was yesterday?"

Black had asked Lily for her to give James a chance and go out with him. She had no, but clearly he hadn't gotten the message.

"Oh, come on," he said, still blocking her way to the common room. "He's really not such a bad guy. You just have to give him a chance."

Lily stared at him with eyes that could kill. "NO!"

She stepped to the left and Black went that way. Too bad for him he was only doing that to confuse him. She whipped to the right and entered the common room.

Lily raced across the common room and up the stairs to her dormitory before she could be attacked by any more Marauders.

That's usually how her afternoons went these days: Go to class, ignore Potter, dodge Marauders, and finish homework.

Lily always stayed up in her dormitory to do her homework. If she stayed in the common room too long, she would eventually be bombarded by Black and Lupin, begging her to give Potter a chance.

But she would NEVER give him a chance. If the only two male creatures on the entire face of the planet left were James Potter and a slug, Lily would pick the slug. And you know what, she would live happily ever after with the _slug._

So she just sat there in her four-poster, doing her homework, trying to forget the arrogant look on James's face.

James was in the common room, scanning around, looking for Lily. He hadn't seen her in the common room for days now.

"Where's Evans?" James asked Sirius.

He shrugged. "You act like _I'm _the one who follows her obsessively. Oh, wait," he turned to gave James a sly smirk, "that's your job."

Their friend Peter snickered.

James raised his eyebrows at him. "Peter, is there something you would like to say to me?"

He tried to hide the fact that he had been cracking up. "N-No."

Remeus, the fourth Marauder, looked at James. "He was _going_ to say that it's funny the way you obsess over a girl who gives you as much affection back as that plant over there."

James blushed and looked down while Sirius and Peter had a laughing fit.

When Sirius could breathe again, he said to James, "Yeah, it's no use, mate. Yesterday she told me that you were 'merely mucus in the nose of the wizarding world'."

James gave him a confused look. "She called me a booger?"

"If you look at it in the general way, yes," Remeus told them from where his nose was buried in his book.

James slumped down in a chair. How was he going to get her to talk to him? She wouldn't even _look _at him! Even with his two wingmen, he still hadn't managed to get her to go on a date with him. He was starting to feel discouraged.

"Don't worry, mate," Sirius said, reading the worried expression on his face. "I'm sure she'll come around."

James looked up at him. "Really?"

"Yeah," he said, "in about a hundred years, if she's completely out of options."

James groaned and drooped further into his chair. What was he going to do?

But he wasn't giving up, not now, and not anytime soon. He _would_ win Lily Evans's heart, even if it was the _last_ thing he did. Even if he had to prove himself through blood, sweat and tears. He would lift her off her feet. He knew he would.


	2. Mixed Up

**Title****:** (Well, I thought that was kind of obvious, but, ok) Lily's Little Problem

**Author****:** Um, Scarlet September… hi!

**Disclaimer****:** Uh, yeah… _hello!_ Is anyone home? If I was JK Rowling, would I really be publishing my stories on Fanfiction? So, no… I don't own this book or any of the characters.

_Author's note: _Sorry it took me _so_ long to update, but hey, better late than never!

* * *

Chapter 2:

Mixed Up

The next day, James followed Lily to all of her classes. Whenever she turned around, he'd hide behind Sirius. After a while of this cycle, Sirius turned to him, annoyed. "Why do you keep doing that? You look like frightened cat."

But James just ignored him. This was the only way to get Lily to talk to him: If he, out of nowhere, approached her, and she couldn't escape. Because every time she saw him walking toward her, she merely turned and ran in the other direction.

With James constantly trying to talk to Lily without her running away, Lily hardly ever saw him. Well, that was because he kept hiding behind Sirius. But it was a good tactic to James. He merely had to stay out of her sight and not annoy her, so then he could start a civil conversation with her that didn't involve the usual death stares, a hex or two and a few curses here and there.

After nearly a week, James decided it was time to act. And no, that action was _not_ hiding behind Sirius. He was going to talk to Lily Evans.

* * *

After Potions that day, Lily felt tremendously happy. She hadn't seen James in a whole week and she had just passed an extremely difficult Potions exam. Oh, happy days.

Just when she thought her day couldn't get any better, she was stopped by none other than James Potter. And just when she thought she was having a pretty good week.

He sat there and stared at her for a full minute, before, annoyed Lily clucked her tongue and said, "Are you going to say something or are you just going to stand there and stare at me?"

He blinked, as if realizing for the first time that he was staring at her, his mouth gaping a little. He rubbed his neck, ruffled his hair, flexed his fingers, blinked a few more times, then turned on his heel and ran faster than in if You-Know-Who himself was chasing after him, waving a sword over his head and screaming bloody murder.

That's right ladies and gentlemen, the action wasn't hiding behind Sirius, the action was running. Yes, running. As far away from Lily Evans as possible.

Lily watched him and shook her head. What was that all about? Well, atleast he didn't—

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone coming up behind her. She turned around to face Severus Snape.

"Hey, Sev."

"What was Potter doing here?" he asked, without an introduction. He spat the word Potter as if he just said 'Merlin's dirty gym socks.'

"Eh, you know, just being his own stupid annoying self." She shrugged. "So, anyway, what have you been up to?"

Severus shrugged, merely saying, "You know. The usual."

Lily groaned. "You haven't still been hanging around Malfoy, have you?"

"So what if I am?" he said, sounding offended.

Lily closed her eyes and took a deep breath, as if she was about to begin explaining something to a very stubborn child. "Sev… they do _bad things_. They spend their time jinxing innocent students! With _illegal_ curses and jinxes."

"So!" Severus said, defending himself. "They're cool! And they're not the _only _ones who do… kind of bad things. What about Potter?! You see him going around, cursing people and—"

"Sev, why are you even bringing Potter into this? That's what you do _every time_ we have this conversation."

"_What _conversation?"

"Sev…," Lily began warningly. "You know _what conversation._ The conversation about you and your Death Eater buddies, that _is_ what they call themselves. _Death Eaters, _Sev. Doesn't that click any light bulbs in your head or ring any alarms?"

Severus pretended not to know what Lily was talking about. "I… I don't really get it. I mean, what's wrong with that name?" He shrugged, faking innocence.

Lily groaned. "_Forget it,_ Sev. Just FORGET IT."

The two friends walked together outside, talking of other things, like school and things of the sort.

When they reached the lake, Severus automatically tried to steer Lily away from where James and the rest of the Marauders were by the shore, shooting curses at the squid.

"Um, why don't we go this way?" Severus suggested, trying to stop her from seeing the terds.

But, Lily had already seen them.

"What are they doing?" she asked, sounding genuinely curious. She stood on her tiptoes, trying to see over his shoulder to see what was going on.

"Just Potter and his friends being idiots."

"Sev, move your shoulder! I can't see!"

Severus blushed. "Why do you even _want_ to see him?"

Now it was Lily's turn to blush. "I-I don't _want_ to… just, just move your shoulder, Sev!"

She stood so far up on her tiptoes, she could see over his shoulder.

There was Potter, like Severus had said, and he was shooting curses at the squid. He was laughing along with his friends and strangely, Lily actually thought he looked kind of… cute. The way his black hair floated lightly over his forehead. The way his keen hazel eyes seemed to twinkle with mischief. The way… wait, Oh My Merlin, what was she saying?! Potter wasn't cute! He was ANNOYING!

She quickly turned away before anyone could see her staring, but not before she met Potter's eyes. And right before she had turned away, she saw him staring at her for a moment. She thought she saw him wink.

Lily tore her eyes away from James. "Come on, Sev. Let's go this way."

She pushed his shoulder so they were both turned away from the Marauders.

They walked away, but Lily still could get the image of James's intense hazel eyes staring right through her out of her head.

What was wrong with her these days? Why was she just so mixed up?

By the end of the day, Lily had come to the conclusion that puberty stunk.

* * *

James grumbled to himself all the way up to the common room.

"Stupid Snape…. You know, I always hated the little slime ball…. Now, now he's crossed the line!"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "What are you mumbling about NOW, Prongs?"

James gave a loud groan of frustration and anger. "SNAPE! Don't you see what he's doing?!"

Remus shrugged. "Are we _supposed_ to know what he's doing?"

"Yes! Can't you see it? He's trying to steal Evans from me!!!"

They all suddenly stopped.

"WHAT?!" Padfoot and Moony said at the same time.

"What?" said Wormtail, mainly because he had NO IDEA what had just happened.

"Don't you see? Every time Lily even tries to talk to me or look at me, he pulls her away! She wants me! She wants to give me a chance! I can see it in her eyes! She finally loves me!"

"Let's not forget your charming modesty," he heard Remus grumble while Sirius laughed.

"Prongs, do you SERIOUSLY think that Lily would… would fall for, for Snively?!" He laughed even harder.

James blushed. "No! But he fancies her! And he's trying to ruin our chances of EVER being together!"

Remus clapped a hand encouragingly on his shoulder. "Relax mate. I'm sure you're just paranoid. It's all in your head. Just, do the world a favor and calm down, for the love of Merlin."

James took several deep breaths but still couldn't shake off his suspicion.

He further confirmed Lily's observation that puberty stinks.


	3. James's Revenge

Chapter 3:

James's Revenge

The rest of the day, James was seriously peeved. That little git Snivellus was trying to steal Lily from him! Well… Lily wasn't exactly his… _yet_.

He couldn't stand the fact that there was a chance that he wouldn't even get to win her over! Lily… with her beautiful red hair and lovely amber-colored eyes…. Lily, with the way she mystified him with the way she believed in and loved her independence so much, not to mention the fact that she was incredibly smart and naturally elegant, even when she wasn't trying to be.

Stupid Snape for keep her out of his reach.

He didn't tell anyone, but he was planning revenge. It was top-secret what he was planning, not even his best mates knew about it. He DID leave them hint every once and a while, though, that he was planning something against Snape.

"I'm going to do horrible things to Snively, something to make him regret EVER getting in the way of me and Lily! Or… what COULD be one day!"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "What's he going on about NOW, Remus?"

Remus merely shrugged, still not looking up from his book. "I don't know. James, mate, are you under any new medication we should know about?" he said, idly turning the page.

The rest of the Marauders laughed as James gave them all cold stares.

"_No,_" he said defensively. "For your information, Moony, I am NOT under medication. _NO, _I am merely plotting something… oh yes… something big… something HORRIBLE…." James continued to mutter similar things to himself, half sounding like a madman. Ah, love. It tended to make a person crazy… _literally_.

Sirius chuckled under his breath. "You're not still on about your SNAPE being in love with Lily thing, are you? James, mate, you're just paranoid. She's NOT in love with Snape, for the LAST time."

"BELIEVE WHAT YOU WANT TO!" James shouted, throwing his hands up in the air in utter defeat. Then he simply walked off, even MORE peeved.

It wasn't until the next week that ANYONE, including the Marauders, knew what revenge and love really was.

Little did they all know that this was only the beginning….

* * *

James sat in his seat in History of Magic, seriously depressed. What was the point in annoying Lily if she wouldn't even meet his gaze? He just stared at the back of her head, mentally wanted to dig himself in a hole for the rest of eternity.

Lily sat in front him, sitting up straight, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end.

She COULDN'T look at James. If she did… she just might fall into their hazel spell and she might… might reconsider him being a giant arsehole.

But, he was! He was HORRIBLE! Someone just couldn't change OVERNIGHT… could they?

She barely even _heard_ Professor Binns arid lecture on dwarf revolutions; the only thing that she was fully aware of was James, staring at her, his eyes on her.

It was like she could… _feel_ his stares, as stupid as that sounded. They were like a beam, keeping her in place, causing her to not be able to move a single muscle.

She had been completely avoiding James, refusing to even LOOK at him, for nearly a week and a half, and she didn't know how much longer she could keep this game up. She HAD to look at him, even if it was to tell him that she wanted nothing to do with him. But… was all of that _entirely _true?

_Enough, Lily! _she thought to herself, _Stop being such a bemused soul! OFCOURSE you want NOTHING to do with him! He's been bugging you since first year!_

But… maybe the old James WAS really gone. Maybe, he was turning into… a different kind of guy. Maybe, just MAYBE, when he wasn't torturing countless people, maybe he was… nice. Sweet, even. MAYBE caring, to stretch it a little.

"Lily… Lily Evans?"

Lily looked up suddenly, just realizing she had gotten lost in thought. Professor Binns was looking at her impatiently, looking to be awaiting an answer.

Lily blushed as she heard giggling in the back of the classroom and attempted to regain her good sense as a student.

"Yes, Professor?"

The ghost teacher sighed. "I was asking when the rebellion the Dwarves of Midgen was."

Lily opened her mouth, her answer ready in her throat. But, before it could even get out, a sonic boom shook the room, getting everyone's attention, and taking it away from a fumbled Lily.

Professor Binns looked at the door, then began to hover towards it slowly, while yet ANOTHER boom went off.

The students in the classroom were all now whispering to themselves, wondering what in the name of Merlin could be causing such a ruckus. Suddenly, along with another boom, a scream was heard, echoing through the class. It sounded… faintly like a girl. Lily could have SWORN she heard someone snickering behind her….

As soon as Professor Binns opened the door, Lily smelled a faint, burnt smell.

Professor Binns floated through the door, muttering, "What's all this about?"

Everyone in the classroom followed the teacher out of the room, the booming getting louder and closer by the second. Now Lily was CERTAIN that someone was laughing behind her….

When they all reached the hall, they could see that everyone else had moved outside to see what the explosions were and where they were coming from.

The confusion hung all around them, until something came flying from the boy's lavatory.

That's when Lily knew what it was: Her best friend, Severus, just came running into the halls, his bum set to fire. The unmistakable smell of dung suddenly filled the corridors.

Lily ALSO knew where the laughter was coming from: from James Potter and Sirius Black, standing right behind her.

As much as she wanted to scold Potter for setting this childish prank… Lily actually found herself snickering. It WAS pretty funny to see Sev, robes afire, screaming very with a very high pitched voice.

She mistakenly allowed a small laugh to escape her throat and she immediately regretted it when she heard someone chuckle behind her and tap her shoulder.

"Funny, isn't it?" It was the unforgettable voice of James Potter.

Lily turned around to felt him, and felt a familiar rush of anger flood into her.

"No! That was very irresponsible and SO immature!" Lily crossed her arms tightly.

James grinned at her. "But… you laughed."

Lily opened her mouth to speak, but bit her tongue and blushed. She HAD laughed. She looked up slightly, only to meet the stare of his hazel eyes, the stare she had been avoiding for a while, these days.

James smiled at her, his eyes seeming to twinkle, just as they had that day by the lake. Lily couldn't move or speak. The only thing she was fully aware of was James. Not even Severus's screams and the laughter of the students around them seemed to wake her up.

James stood there, in a similar trance. Lily's emerald eyes bore into him, breaking all of his defenses, causing him to stay in his place, just smiling and looking at her, glad that she didn't yell at him… too much, at least.

Lilly finally looked down, amazed that the great gravity of his eyes didn't cause her to move forward and… possibly do something that she'd be horrified to find out SHE did.

"Potter!"

Sev's yelled echoed in the hallway, as well as everyone's jeering laughter.

James looked up. "Well, it's been nice talking to you, Evans, but I better go before Snivellus get the best of me."

He ran away from where she was, Snape close behind, while James teased him by pretending to run in slow motion, causing Lily to laugh.

Wow. That was the second time that day she had laughed at something JAMES POTTER did.

She was clearly very tired and confused… maybe even demented.

Lily walked back to the dormitories after the crowds had thinned out and lessened and everyone had been escorted back to their classrooms, only to be released.

Only one thing occupied Lily's mind. Not her best friend's safety and well being. Not Potter's cruel (yet A LITTLE humorous) prank.

No, not any of those things. But, the thing that stayed planted in her brain, as much as she tried to rid herself of it was James's bittersweet hazel eyes.

And no matter how hard she tried to be angry with James, she just couldn't.

Because somewhere inside of her, something inside of her had secretly confirmed that James Potter was indeed funny.

* * *

"So, _exploding_ Dung Bombs, Prongs?" Sirius chuckled. "Those aren't even on the market yet!"

"I know! I have my connections…," James smoothly replied, sounding like a secret agent.

"That was brilliant!" Sirius continued to praise his friend. "I mean, did you SEE Snively's face?! It was like a tomato!"

James laughed, only halfheartedly with his friends, his thoughts still fully on Lily.

She had LAUGHED. And it was a real laugh, not a fake and dry one. She… thought he was funny?

She amazed him. One minute, she wouldn't even look at him and the next, she was laughing a joke HE had made, about her best friend!

James smiled to himself, as he was now certain that Lily wasn't in love with Snape. Sirius had been right: it had all been in his head.

But… would Snape forgive James so easily?


End file.
